Monday 7 January 2008

BIG BROTHER: CELEBRITY HIJACK

Monday 7 January 2008

God, what a talentless load of socially-inept degenerate morons. That's the usual thought that runs through your head on any opening night of Big Brother, but it's been sidestepped by Endemol this year.

Now, instead of the usual gormless idiots, we have a collection of youths (aged 18-21), who have already achieved something in life. Or, at the very least, have a talent to speak of...

There's conceptual artist Amy, boxer Anthony, classical musician Calista, sibling circus performers Emilia and Victor, beauty queen Jade, fashion designer Jay, racing driver Jeremy, politician John, dancer Latoya, website director Liam, and singer/songwriter Nathan.

Sure, even with a greater mix of brains in the house, there are still a few moments of inane waffling and daftness, but that's mainly down to the housemates' ages and limited life experience. On the whole; they're a nice, normal bunch.

And... God, it's boring. So far, anyway. It's all very well trying to subvert expectations by putting a better representation of the nation's youngsters on Big Brother, but there's very little indication that these relatively successful, quite intelligent, mostly talented people are particularly entertaining.

The fact is; if you stick a load of desperate wannabes (with a collective IQ of 85) in a house together... you'll have fireworks. If you put jaded C-list celebrities into a house together... you'll have some fun (in-between a little racism). But "normal people"? Why would you want to watch "normal people"?

The central "hijack" idea is also pretty retarded. In light of last year's Celebrity Big Brother racism debacle, they've hastily twisted the format so a carousel of celebs are the all-controlling voice of Big Brother, dishing out tasks to the "normals".

The problem is: after the opening night's gambit -- of having "hijacker" Matt Lucas secretly control a tubby ginger Scot around the house, making a total tit of himself -- the whole hijacking concept has been pretty lame. Who wants to see Matt Lucas basically introduce trite talent contest? Or watch Ian Wright explain a cake-making task in the diary room, in-between getting his arse licked by a sycophantic teen? Not me, that's for sure.

Oh well. If this had been a shorter version of the summer show (only with teens), it would have been deemed exploitative and pointless -- so I understand why Endemol chose this semi-celeb remix. I just hope the "normal" people in there start showing signs of personality, and the hijackers become more than famous voices paid to read out scripts.

Upcoming hijackers include: Alan Cumming, Kelly Osbourne, Russell Brand, Joan Rivers, Jimmy Carr, Malcolm McLaren, Leigh Francis character Keith Lemon, art historian Brian Sewell, conceptual artists Jake and Dinos Chapman, Paula Abdul, Hollyoaks actresses Claire Cooper, Jennifer Metcalfe, Gemma Merna, Leah Hackett and Hollie-Jay Bowes, and the winner of a Myspace competition.


Weeknights,
E4 & E4+1