Friday 12 June 2009

KRÖD MÄNDOON AND THE FLAMING SWORD OF FIRE 1.1-2 – "Wench Trouble" & "Golden Powers"

Friday 12 June 2009
The first big joke in British-American co-production Kröd Mändoon And The Flaming Sword Of Fire has our eponymous hero walking headfirst into a tavern's wooden pillar, and that's exemplative of the script's quality. Spoofing the mediavel fantasy genre is nothing new, but it's a cyclical idea that's spun around once again thanks to mainstream interest in Harry Potter and The Lord Of The Rings...

Kröd Mändoon (Sean Maguire) is the athletic, oversensitive leader of a ragtag group of mercenaries: Zezelryck (Kevin Hart), a hip warlock constantly making excuses for his lack of magical abilities; Loquasto (Steve Speirs), a loyal, pig-faced slave; and pagan warrioress Aneka (India de Beaufort), whose primary weapon is her sex-appeal. They exist in a stereotypical fantasy realm, run by tyrannical idiot Chancellor Dongalor (Matt Lucas), and their first adventure involves the rescue of prisoners from Dongalor's dungeon, including Kröd's mentor General Arcadius (Roger Allam). It's not long before we discover that Kröd's the prophecized "Golden One" to end Dongalor's reign, the sword his father made him can erupt into flames (lending no real advantage during battle), and after Arcadius is killed he returns as a glowing "ghost" to advise our hero, Obi Wan-style. Kröd's flaming sword could also be taken as ye olde lightsabre, I guess.

It's derivative, but intentionally so. Kröd Mändoon And The Flaming Sword Of Fire is exactly what you'd expect, really. It has pretensions of being a cross between The Princess Bride and Blackadder, but creator Peter A. Knight's script isn't up to snuff. To successfully spoof a genre, you need to know your subject inside-out and love it dearly, but Kröd Mändoon is a weak mix of easy targets and obvious characterization culled from the mass consciousness of the films it lampoons. Krull meets Robin Hood: Men In Tights, then.

But that's not to say it's without merit and fails to entertain. The cast feel like an entertaining bunch, which is often half the battle. Sean Maguire has the ungodly stain of Meet The Spartans on his resume (a fantasy spoof that makes Kröd Mändoon look like Blazing Saddles), but he seems fine here as the all-American jock with mild OCD. Matt Lucas undoubtedly makes the biggest impression as the snide villain, but Dongalor is hardly a stretch for the overexposed comedian, so the results are a little predictable. More amusing was Dongalor's David Walliams-esque henchman Barnabus (Alex MacQueen), whose feeble voice is readymade for unctuous sidekicks. The third surprise was the stunning India de Beaufort; asked to play a babe-in-leathers male fantasy, while still proving winsome and interesting as an actress. But yes, it didn't hurt that she indulged us with a sexy pagan striptease, having apparently done her homework at a Budapest stripclub.

For a humble TV comedy it also looks great, in a Sci-Fi Channel movie-of-the-week kind of way. There's not much CGI just yet, but the exterior locations (filmed in Hungary for tax-saving reasons) are beautiful, the interior sets are good, costumes are of Xena-like quality, and there are enough extras to make Kröd's universe feel believable and lived-in. Still, shows like this survive on the personalities involved and the quality of the scripts, and only a few of the characters were immediately appealing. Many were gross stereotypes or, in the case of a homosexual prisoner they rescue called Bruce (Marques Ray), quite offensive and embarassing. More worryingly, the script leaned havily on slapstick, puns and anachronisms. Mild fun for a pantomime, corny for a television show. Kröd Mändoon should try and do for fantasy what Red Dwarf did for sci-fi -- and the best years of Dwarf were character-driven, cleverly-written, built a mythology, and often revolved around fun, intelligent plots. It wasn't just pratfalls, puns and hammy actors in silly costumes riffing on clichés.

Overall, for all its faults, Kröd Mändoon And The Flaming Sword Of Fire was too deliberately silly to hate, and this double-bill opening slipped by rather pleasantly. I don't expect it to transform into a hilarious, incisive spoof of a genre that's nigh impossible to send-up in a fresh way, but hopefully it will at least be cheeky, fun, daft and entertaining.


11 June 2009
BBC2, 9pm


written by: Peter A. Knight directed by: Alex Hardcastle starring: Sean Maguire (Kröd Mändoon), Matt Lucas (Chancellor Dongalor), India de Beaufort (Aneka), Kevin Hart (Zezelryck), Steve Speirs (Loquasto), Marques Ray (Bruce), Alex MacQueen (Barnabus), Roger Allam (General Arcadius), Neil Fitzmaurice (Max The MC), James McDonnell (Lord Comstock), Orlando Seale (Lord Vanameer), Christian Patterson (Horst Draper), Lee Boardman (Stygian Assassin In Stable), Tony Asije (Stygian Assassin), Nico Tatarowicz (Assassin #1), John Axon (Assassin #2), Jonathan Slinger (Head Myrmidon), Scott Curt (Myrmidon From Dungeon), Matt Devere (Myrmidon #2), Gabor Diossy (Ragged Man), Laszlo Konter (Very Old Man), Remie Purtill-Clarke (Cute Girl), John Ramm (Annoying Villager), Richard Riddell (Minstrel) & Peter Sullivan (Mystery Man)